Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Exploring the cosmos fills us with wonder, Pope tells scientists - Vatican News

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why do people stay in cults after they have joined?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is the definite integral of x^x from 0 to 2?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What are the extra benefits of a smart TV?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I want to have anal sex, but my wife refuses. What do I do?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Do women really cheat more than men?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How would you describe modern day Russian society, beyond just politics?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Did your siblings abuse you growing up? Not your parents, specifically your siblings, or other children in the household you were raised with.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do narcissists and especially covert narcissists always play the victim?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade